In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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