"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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