I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
