the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
