I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!