Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock? http://tfl.nu/twxe
  Replies (5) Good night (5069) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could http://tfl.nu/ea9t
  Replies (4) Good night (3464) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur
  Replies (8) Good night (1433) Bad night (4220)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line http://tfl.nu/4yuv
  Replies (2) Good night (1705) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...

  (1+44): View more from

  That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl... (1+44): That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh http://tfl.nu/agy9
  Replies (23) Good night (4448) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3
  Replies (10) Good night (2676) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat. (1-916): Can we laminate it? Just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/1wiq
  Replies (4) Good night (2700) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter. http://tfl.nu/rhw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you. http://tfl.nu/8f7o
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
  Replies (10) Good night (539) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered http://tfl.nu/tx8s
  Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag http://tfl.nu/vpku
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/86v9
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (326)

Randomize