Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA. http://tfl.nu/7ezh
  Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night? http://tfl.nu/hysj
  Replies (85) Good night (1808) Bad night (7017)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg
  Replies (19) Good night (3990) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case". http://tfl.nu/rki3
  Replies (22) Good night (3785) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship http://tfl.nu/kphu
  Replies (13) Good night (1885) Bad night (3812)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons. http://tfl.nu/oech
  Replies (17) Good night (7688) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building. http://tfl.nu/5zu2
  Replies (19) Good night (4069) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4437) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c
  Replies (9) Good night (5145) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/yova
  Replies (1) Good night (1773) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere? http://tfl.nu/iv7s
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo (410): Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman. http://tfl.nu/b3bx
  Replies (2) Good night (1439) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though. http://tfl.nu/97ky
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i mean i let him but still...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet. (757): i mean i let him but still... http://tfl.nu/w6qm
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (391)

Randomize