no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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