Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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