So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
