dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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