Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
