we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
