I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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