I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
