my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
