The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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