I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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