Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
