Your tits are I can't wait for
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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