I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
