he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
last night I used snow as a chaser
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
