It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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