office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
