so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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