Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
