Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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