big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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