I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
