was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Drake has all the answers
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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