Small penises have feelings too.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
