I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sex in a hospital.. check
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
