Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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