Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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