You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
