it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
