He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
