i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
