I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Randomize
