i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize