small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
