chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
