I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
They took my balls.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
