What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry about my life...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
