Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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