You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
