Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
