Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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