I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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