Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
