Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
