CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
