I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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