Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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