I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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