Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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