Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
