so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
