i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
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And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
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Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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