She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think your dad took our porno
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
