is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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