how can u be prego again
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
